How to Prepare for Your First Divorce Consultation: A Step-by-Step Washington Guide

Reviewed by Amy Carei, J.D., Law Practice Supervising Attorney

How a Divorce Consultation Helps You Plan What Comes Next

If you are facing divorce, getting legal guidance early helps you make important decisions with a clearer picture of what lies ahead. An initial consultation with an experienced divorce attorney can help you:

• Understand your options
• Clarify legal strategies
• Avoid common legal mistakes early
• Plan your next steps in a divorce

You don’t need to have everything figured out before seeking legal advice. Whether you’re exploring your options or ready to proceed, the right conversation can help you decide what’s next.

McKinley Irvin offers in-person, phone, or videoconference consultations with attorneys who focus exclusively on family law and can provide detailed guidance about your situation. Our Client Services team can help you find the right attorney and schedule your consultation. Use the checklist below to learn what to expect and how to prepare for your consultation meeting.

Quick Guide: 5 Ways to Prepare Before Your Consultation

Step 1: Know Where You Are in the Process

Most people seeking a divorce consultation fit into one of these three situations:

You see divorce coming, but nothing has been filed yet. You may be the one considering filing, or you may suspect your spouse is heading in that direction. This is the most common point at which people seek out legal advice and, in many ways, is the best time to consult an attorney. This gives you time to understand your rights, think through your priorities, and prepare for how you want to proceed.

You have been served divorce papers, or you have just filed. The process has started. You need representation, and the consultation is your first step toward finding the right attorney for your case. At this stage, bring a copy of any papers you have received so the attorney can review what has already been filed.

You are mid-case and seeking new representation. You may have been representing yourself, or you may be looking to change attorneys. Bringing your existing legal documents is strongly recommended here. The consulting attorney needs to understand what has already happened, what motions or orders are in place, and where the case currently stands before they can advise you on next steps.

Each of the above situations requires specific legal advice. If no one has filed but divorce is imminent, a consultation can give you valuable insight into how your divorce may play out. If the process has already started, an attorney consultation will give you information on how to prepare for what comes next.

Step 2: Put Together a Financial Overview

You do not need to bring tax returns, bank statements, or brokerage account documents to a consultation. That level of documentation comes later, once you are actively working with your attorney on your case. For the consultation itself, a general financial picture is sufficient.

What matters at this stage is that both you and the attorney have a working sense of the landscape. Think through:

• Income: What does each spouse earn, roughly? Are there self-employment, rental, or business income sources?
• Savings and accounts: Shared or individual bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts?
• Debt: What are the major liabilities — mortgage, car loans, credit cards, student loans?
• Major assets: Do you own real estate, a business, or other significant property?

You do not need precise numbers. The goal is enough of a picture for the attorney to understand the complexity of the financial issues in your case and begin thinking about strategy.

A note on Washington's community property law

Washington is a community property state. As a general rule, assets and debts acquired during the marriage belong equally to both spouses, regardless of whose name they are in or who earned the money. Assets owned before the marriage, or gifts or inheritances one spouse receives during the marriage, are classified as separate property and are not subject to division in a divorce.

Step 3: Write Down Your Questions

One of the most common things people say after a consultation is that they forgot to ask something important. Writing your questions ahead of time addresses that issue. It also shows the attorney that you are engaged and committed to understanding your situation.

Here are questions to consider, organized by topic:

About the divorce process in Washington

• What are the grounds for divorce in Washington, and do I need to prove anything?
• What is the difference between a contested and uncontested divorce?
• Is mediation an option in my situation, and is it required before going to court?
• What is the typical timeline for a case like mine?

About your specific situation

• How is property typically divided in Washington?
• What happens to the family home?
• How are retirement accounts handled in a Washington divorce?
• If a business is involved, how is that valued and divided?

About children (if applicable)

• How is a parenting plan structured in Washington?
• What factors does the court consider when making custody decisions?
• How is child support calculated in Washington?

About cost and next steps

• How much would the initial retainer likely be for my case?
• What factors will have the biggest effect on cost?
• What would the next steps be if I decide to move forward?

You will not get to every question in a single hour, and that is fine. Prioritize the ones causing you the most uncertainty, and let the attorney guide the conversation from there.

Step 4: Think About Your Priorities Beforehand

A consultation is most useful when you arrive with a sense of what matters most to you. You don't need to have all the answers yet. However, a bit of clarity about what matters most can help keep the conversation focused on your priorities.

Ask yourself a few questions before the meeting:

• What is the single most important outcome for me? Financial security? Time with my children? A specific asset? A fast resolution?
• Do I want to pursue a negotiated settlement if possible, or am I prepared to go to court if needed?
• What do I believe my spouse's priorities are, and where do I expect we will agree or disagree?
• Is there anything that is non-negotiable for me?

It's normal not to have clear answers to all of these questions. The goal is to focus on your specific situation. The more your attorney understands your goals and concerns, the more tailored and effective their advice will be.

Step 5: What to Expect During Your Consultation

Every attorney has their own style and process, but divorce consultations at McKinley Irvin generally include:

Starting with the big picture. The attorney will ask about your situation: how long you have been married, whether children are involved, key financial and custody issues, and whether papers have been filed. 

A conversation about your options. Once the attorney understands the landscape, they will walk you through your options, which could include negotiation, mediation, or litigation, and explain what each option might mean for your specific circumstances. What makes sense in a high-conflict, complex-asset case is different from what makes sense in a short marriage with no children and limited property.

A realistic timeline. They will walk through the key stages of the process, how long each typically takes in Washington, and what will be required of you along the way.

A retainer discussion. If you are considering moving forward with the attorney, they will discuss the retainer needed to begin on your case. There is more on how retainers work in the next section.

The consultation is not a decision-making session. You are not committing to anything by attending. It is a chance to get informed and to assess whether the attorney and firm are the right fit for your case.

Understanding Consultation Fees and Retainers

Consultation fees

Consultation fee approaches vary by firm. Some charge a flat fee, and some (including McKinley Irvin) bill at the attorney's hourly rate for one hour. There is no universal standard in Washington.

How retainers work

The initial retainer (also called an advance fee deposit) is the amount of funds required for an attorney to begin working on your case. As the case proceeds, your attorney bills against the retainer. If the balance drops below a certain threshold, you will typically be asked to replenish it. When the case closes, any remaining balance is refunded to you.

A few things worth understanding:

• A lower retainer quoted at a consultation does not mean a lower total cost. Two cases with very different retainer requirements can end up costing about the same overall, or the reverse. The retainer reflects what an attorney needs to begin, not a prediction of the final bill.
• The factors that most affect total cost are the degree of conflict between parties, whether children are involved, the complexity of the assets (business interests, real estate, retirement accounts), and whether the case settles or goes to court.
• Mediation, where appropriate, can meaningfully reduce total cost by resolving disputes outside of court.

No attorney can give you a precise total cost estimate at the start of a case. What a good attorney can do is give you an honest sense of the range and the factors that will drive cost up or down, and what you can do to keep things as efficient as possible.

Start Gathering Documents Now (You Don't Need Them for the Consultation)

You do not need any of the documents below for your first meeting. Bring only papers you have been served with or existing court orders. A divorce consultation is for understanding your situation and options, not going through records.

Still, if divorce is a real possibility, it is a good idea to start collecting these records now. Once you hire an attorney, you'll need them to build a full picture of your finances, and gathering them early saves time and stress later.

A few tips for gathering records:

• Start with what is easy to reach. Online statements can usually be downloaded in minutes.
• Keep copies of your own records only. Collect documents you already have legitimate access to, such as joint accounts and shared files. Do not access your spouse’s private accounts or devices.
• Store them somewhere safe. Use a location your spouse cannot access, such as a personal email account or a secure folder.
• Don't worry about gaps. The attorney you choose to represent you in your divorce will tell you exactly what information they need and help you track down anything that is missing.

Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce Consultations

What do I need to bring to a divorce consultation? For most consultations, you do not need to bring financial documents or official records. A general sense of your financial picture (approximate income for both parties, major assets, debt, and savings) is sufficient. If you have been served papers or have existing court orders in your case, bring those. The attorney will let you know what additional documentation is needed once you decide to move forward.

How do I prepare for my first meeting with a divorce attorney? Think through where you are in the process, put together a rough financial overview, write down your most pressing questions, and clarify what matters most to you. You do not need to have everything figured out. The goal is to arrive with enough context for a focused conversation.

How long does a divorce consultation take? Most consultations run about an hour. Use that time to cover your situation, understand your options, and ask the questions that matter most to you.

Do I have to make any decisions during the consultation? No. The consultation is informational. You are not committing to hire the attorney, and no legal decisions are made during the meeting. It is a chance to get informed and assess your options.

What questions should I ask a divorce attorney at a first consultation? Start with the questions causing you the most uncertainty. Common ones include: What are my options given my situation? How long will this take? How does a retainer work, and what would one look like for my case? What factors will most affect the cost? What would the next steps be if I decide to move forward?

How much does a divorce consultation cost in Washington? It varies by firm. At McKinley Irvin, consultations are billed at one hour at the attorney's hourly rate.

What happens after my divorce consultation? You will have a clearer picture of your situation, your options, and what working with that attorney would look like. If you decide to move forward, the next step is typically signing a representation agreement and paying a retainer. If you need more time to decide, that is entirely normal. There is no pressure to commit during the meeting.

How do I find a trusted divorce attorney in Washington? Look for an attorney who focuses on family law and has experience with cases like yours in Washington specifically. Ask about their experience with community property, contested divorces, and any issues specific to your situation. A consultation is also your opportunity to assess whether you are comfortable with the attorney's approach and communication style.

Schedule Your Consultation with McKinley Irvin

McKinley Irvin has represented clients across Washington in divorce and family law cases for decades. Our attorneys understand Washington's community property laws, the local court landscape, and the range of approaches that lead to the best outcomes for our clients.

If you are ready to take the first step, we are ready to talk. 

• Contact our Client Services team at (888) 337-0258
• Use our contact form
• Virtual consultations available

After you reach out, a member of our Client Services team will be in touch to schedule your appointment and answer any questions about what to expect.