What Is Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation is a complex and often devastating phenomenon that can occur in high-conflict custody cases. It refers to a situation where one parent systematically undermines and damages the relationship between a child and the other parent. This behavior goes beyond the normal tensions that may arise during a separation or divorce and can have long-lasting effects on both the child and the targeted parent.
In Washington State, as in many other jurisdictions, the courts are aware of the serious implications of parental alienation. While not always easy to prove, when identified, parental alienation can significantly impact custody decisions and parenting plans. The primary concern of the court is always the best interest of the child, and alienation is recognized as potentially harmful to a child's emotional and psychological well-being.
Signs & Symptoms of Parental Alienation
Recognizing parental alienation can be challenging, as it often develops gradually over time. However, there are several signs that may indicate its presence in a family dynamic.
Signs of parental alienation include the following:
- Defamation of the targeted parent: The alienating parent consistently speaks negatively about the other parent in front of the child. This may include making disparaging remarks, blaming the other parent for the family's problems, or exaggerating their faults. Over time, this can lead the child to adopt a similarly negative view of the targeted parent.
- Initial restrictions on communication: The alienating parent may interfere with the child's ability to communicate with the other parent. This could involve blocking phone calls, intercepting messages, or creating obstacles to scheduled visitations. Parents should review their custodial orders and note how these restrictions violate their court orders.
- Undermining the other party’s authority: The alienating parent may consistently contradict or overrule the other parent's decisions, effectively diminishing their parental authority in the child's eyes. This behavior can extend to encouraging the child to disregard rules or boundaries set by the targeted parent, further eroding their relationship.
- Creation of a false narrative: In severe cases, the alienating parent might fabricate stories of abuse, neglect, or abandonment by the targeted parent. These false narratives can be particularly damaging, as they can instill fear or resentment in the child towards the targeted parent.
Key symptoms of parental alienation include the following:
- Unjustified Rejection: The child may display an intense and seemingly irrational dislike or fear of the targeted parent. This rejection often appears disproportionate to any actual negative experiences with that parent and may be accompanied by a refusal to spend time with them.
- Lack of ambivalence: In normal parent-child relationships, children typically have mixed feelings about their parents. In cases of alienation, the child may view the alienating parent as entirely good and the targeted parent as entirely bad, lacking the usual nuanced perspective.
- Borrowed scenarios: The child may recount negative experiences with the targeted parent that they couldn't have witnessed or that use adult language inconsistent with their age. These scenarios often mirror the alienating parent's complaints or grievances.
- Reflexive support: The child may automatically and fiercely defend the alienating parent in any conflict or disagreement, regardless of the circumstances. This unwavering support can extend to situations where the child has no direct knowledge or involvement.
- Absence of guilt: The child may show a complete lack of guilt or remorse for their cruel or hurtful behavior towards the targeted parent. This absence of empathy is often uncharacteristic of the child's general personality and moral development.
What’s the Difference Between Estrangement & Alienation?
While parental alienation and estrangement can both result in a damaged relationship between a parent and child, it is crucial to understand the distinction between these two concepts, especially in the context of custody cases.
Parental alienation, as discussed earlier, is a deliberate process initiated by one parent to weaken the child's relationship with the other parent. Estrangement, on the other hand, occurs when children distance themselves from their parents due to their parents' behavior or actions.
Estrangement is typically a response to actual negative experiences such as abuse, neglect, or a pattern of unreliability. In cases of estrangement, the child's feelings are based on their own experiences and perceptions rather than being primarily influenced by the other parent.
It's important to note that regardless of whether a situation involves alienation or estrangement, neither party can unilaterally ignore court-ordered custody arrangements or visitation schedules. Both parents are legally obligated to comply with the parenting plan established by the court. Refusing to participate in court-ordered visitation or custodial time, whether due to alienation or claimed estrangement, can have serious legal consequences and may be considered a violation of the parenting plan.
In cases involving abuse, parents should reach out to an attorney who can help them file an emergency custody order and discuss their options for removing their child from the other party’s custody permanently.
What to Do About Parental Alienation
If a parent believes they are experiencing parental alienation, there are several steps they can take to address the situation, including:
- Document everything. Keep detailed records of all interactions, missed visitation sessions, and instances of alienating behavior. This documentation can be crucial if legal action becomes necessary.
- Maintain communication despite pushback. Continue to reach out to the child through various means (calls, texts, emails) even if they are unresponsive. This demonstrates ongoing effort and interest in maintaining the relationship.
- Consider filing a motion for contempt. If the other parent is violating the existing parenting plan, you can file a motion for contempt with the court. This legal action can help enforce the existing order and potentially lead to modifications if alienation is proven.
- Consider filing for modification. In severe cases of alienation, it may be necessary to request a modification of the existing parenting plan. This could involve asking for more parenting time or supervised visitation for the alienating parent.
- Consider therapy for the child. In some cases, the court may order therapy for the child to address the impacts of alienation and work towards repairing damaged relationships.
- Consult with an experienced family law attorney. An attorney familiar with parental alienation cases in Washington can provide guidance on the best legal strategies for your specific situation.
Custodial Interference in the First Degree
In Washington State, severe cases of parental alienation may fall under the criminal offense of Custodial Interference in the First Degree, as defined in RCW 9A.40.060. This statute provides legal recourse for parents who are being systematically denied their court-ordered time with their children.
In most cases, this charge often arises in cases involving parental kidnapping. While not all cases of parental alienation lead to kidnapping, it is a serious concern and can be a precursor to more extreme actions.
Under this statute, a person can be charged with a Class C felony if they, a relative of the minor child, with the intent to deny access to the child by a parent, guardian, institution, agency, or any other person who has a lawful right to physical custody, engages in any of the following:
- Takes the child for an extended period
- Exposes the child to extreme risk of illness or injury
- Moves the child to another state
- Retains, detains, or hides the child after the end of any court-ordered visitation period with the intent to intimidate or harass the parent or other party
While the criminal justice system should be seen as a last resort in family matters, the existence of this law underscores the seriousness with which Washington State views interference with custodial rights.
Dedicated Custody Attorneys
McKinley Irvin has been serving clients throughout Washington for over 30 years. Our sole area of practice is divorce and family law, and we are committed to helping clients navigate these difficult legal matters.
Contact our firm for assistance navigating custody cases involving alienation and other complex custody issues.