32 Shocking Divorce Statistics

32 Shocking Divorce StatisticsThe U.S. Census Bureau found that divorce rates for most age groups have been dropping since 1996. Looking at specific divorce statistics for age and region — as well as gay and celebrity divorce rates — can provide an interesting picture of divorce stats in the U.S.

United States Divorce Statistics

Most people already know that around 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. The number is similarly high in many other developed nations.

When you break that down by number of marriages:

  • 41 percent of first marriages end in divorce.
  • 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
  • 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.

This graph looks at the age groups of those getting divorced:

Age Women Men
Under 20 years old 27.6 percent 11.7 percent
20 to 24 years old 36.6 percent 38.8 percent
25 to 29 years old 16.4 percent 22.3 percent
30 to 34 years old 8.5 percent 11.6 percent
35 to 39 years old 5.1 percent 6.5 percent

Divorce Facts

In America, there is one divorce approximately every 36 seconds*. That’s nearly 2,400 divorces per day, 16,800 divorces per week and 876,000 divorces a year.

The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years.

People wait an average of three years after a divorce to remarry (if they remarry at all).

The average age for couples going through their first divorce is 30 years old.

Seventy-nine point six percent of custodial mothers receive a support award, while only 29.6 percent of custodial fathers receive a support award.

Forty-six point nine percent of non-custodial mothers totally default on support, while only 26.9 percent of non-custodial fathers totally default on support.

About 1 percent of the total number of currently married same-sex couples gets divorced each year, in comparison to about 2 percent of married straight couples. (Note that the percent of couples that get divorced eventually is 50 percent, but only one or two percent get divorced in a particular year.)

Celebrity Divorce Facts

Mel and Robyn Gibson’s divorce in 2009 is considered to be the largest celebrity divorce settlement, as Mel paid his ex $425 million.

The celebrity who has been married and divorced the most is actress Zsa Zsa Gabor, who has been married nine times.

Britney Spears holds the record for shortest celebrity marriage; her union with friend Jason Alexander lasted only 55 hours before it was annulled.

Statistics on the Likelihood of Divorce

If your parents are happily married, your risk of divorce decreases by 14 percent.

People who wait to marry until they are over the age of 25 are 24 percent less likely to get divorced.

Living together prior to getting married can increase the chance of getting divorced by as much as 40 percent.

If you’ve attended college, your risk of divorce decreases by 13 percent.

2008 voter data shows that “red” states (states that tend to vote Republican), have higher divorce rates than “blue” states (states that tend to vote Democrat).

The Barna Research Group measured divorce statistics by religion. They found that 29 percent of Baptists are divorced (the highest for a US religious group), while only 21 percent of atheists/agnostics were divorced (the lowest).

Divorce and Children Statistics

The divorce rate among couples with children is 40 percent lower than couples without children.

Forty-three percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers.

Seventy-five percent of children with divorced parents live with their mother.

Twenty-eight percent of children living with a divorced parent live in a household with an income below the poverty line.

Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these children, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.

Divorce Statistics by State and Region

Which states have the highest divorce rate?

Oklahoma has the highest overall divorce rate at 13.45. Thirty-two percent of Oklahoma adults who have ever been married have been divorced.

Arkansas has the second highest rate of divorce in the country at 13.15. The divorce rate for men in Arkansas is the highest in the country at 13.5.

Alaska’s divorce rate of 13.05 is the third highest. Alaska has the highest divorce rate for women in the country at 16.2.

Overall, people living in northeastern states have lower marriage and divorce rates. While those in southern states are more likely to get married, they also have higher divorce rates.

Divorce statistics can highlight facets of divorce that follow unexpected trends. For a better understanding of the divorce process, visit McKinley Irvin’s divorce blog.

* Source: http://1.usa.gov/1dMPvI2

79 thoughts on “32 Shocking Divorce Statistics

  1. These statistics are sad. What happened to toughing up and not using divorce every 5 seconds instead of fighting for our marriages?

    • It’s an interesting conundrum and one that deserves more discussion for sure. Why is the divorce rate rising? Is it due to people getting married too soon? False expectations about what marriage is? Or has divorce become so common that people don’t think closely about the relationship before committing to a lifetime with one another? Improved healthcare may also be contributing. During Roman times the average age of a female was 22 years (largely due to death in child birth); a male 25 (largely due to death from battle). Getting married back then at 16 meant only being with your spouse 6-10 years. Getting married today even at 25 or 30 means being with your spouse 50+ years.

      • Healthcare according to the numbers above would seem to have very little to do with increased divorce rate. The average age is 30 and the largest age braket is 20-24. Assuming that most are getting married at the very least after the age of 18 they’re dissolving pretty quickly

        Undoubtably I think expectations plays a huge part in it but I feel that plain laziness, lack of commitment and an inability to compromise is a huge problem. Laziness, people feel that they shouldn’t have to work for a relationship. Unfortunately anything in life worth something is going to be work. Lack of commitment, this can be seen with just about anything these days people think a 2 year phone contract is the end of the world when 2 years in most cases comes and goes before you know it. Compromise, so many people obsess about being right, how they’ve been wronged, what they deserve, what their partner should or shouldn’t do. Success isn’t going to be found on either end but in the middle.

        Another issue is divorce and or broken homes has become more than socially acceptable. In some cases even glorified.

        That being said my wife (soon to be ex) is on her second affair (or first same guy) and has abandoned her kids for a total of 3 years. This all stated 5 years ago and she’s been gone for the last 3 and left the kids for the second time 2 years ago so I could be really delusional :) but really do believe in giving it your all. It obviously didn’t pay off for me but I have no regrets. According to the numbers above trying these last 5 years just prolonged my inevitable 2nd divorce ;)

        • You have some great points, Tom. It’s true commitment seems to be lacking in many areas of our culture in modern times, as is effective communication. And the obsession with being right stems from much larger ego issues driving people – most of whom are unaware that they are self-manipulating thoughts and actions for good or ill on an unconscious level. Eckert Tolle wrote a great book about this called “A New Earth.”

          There are also several excellent books on relationships these days, including “The Relationship Handbook” which gives some very good common sense advice and exercises for couples who are having trouble. While focusing mostly on married couples, the book is also valuable for any relationships.

          Our sincerest condolences for the issues you and your family have experienced. Loss of family is never easy and it’s always sad to hear about children in the mix who are not getting their needs met by both parents. The fact that you know you gave your all and are at peace with it is a great path to emotional healing, which of course affects our physical and mental health as well.

          We wish you the best in your future relationships and don’t think you sound delusional in the least ;-)

          • I’ve learned the hard way, it takes two to make it, but only one to brake it!

        • do the DNA testing on your children, my honest advice. Do it secretly via online search like hundreds of thousands of US fathers did. There are tons of legal restrictions to stop you from finding out the truth or have legal actions, but there is a serious doubt that your wife cuckolded you with other man’s (men’s) child(ren). While older generations of women often spent years and years on their own due to war, working abroad etc, today’s women are completely different and only thing that stops cuckolding from being more rampant than it is, is the DNA testing. Most couples have children out of wedlock and fathers do secret DNA testing. This is so rampant in today’s world because over 300,000 SECRET DNA testings are done last year (because you will get jailed if they find out, but they can’t unless you admit, since men do it anonymously), and another 300,000 DNA testings were done in legal court/procedures. Don’t be a fool, use your brain.

          • Why would you be “jailed” for having a DNA test performed on your child? That is ridiculous and untrue. You can buy a kit at Rite Aid. Don’t spread untruthful information.

          • To poster elle, since I can’t press “add reply” to her comment. Research the subject before bashing a person you don’t know. Performing paternity test without the knowledge of the mother and without authorized court order is illegal in most western societies, even if you are a putative father. You can get jailed and fined for that.

            Official explanation is that the laws are there to protect you from insurance companies taking samples and making a specific profiling to charge you more money if you have some genetic predisposition to develop a certain disease, which is a false excuse because such possibility is outlawed by a number of other laws. In reality, laws regarding taking DNA samples have only and expllicitly been used to jail fathers who were stupid enough to admit that they underwent taking DNA samples from a child without court order or mother’s acknowledgement. Anyone can buy swab kits, but you need approval for taking DNA samples and you need explicit agreement of the child’s mother to take DNA sample of a child, even if you are child’s putative father.

            This legal situation, combined with social conditioning, resuletd with a huge industry of anonymous paternity testing and you retrieve results over the internet. A number of those labs have their own sites that will give you detailed explanations how to legally work around such laws or they’ll hint it somehow, they will do the testing without any worries of legal consequences.
            You obtain DNA sample of a child, possibly even the mother’s though mother’s sample is not necessary, send them with your own DNA sample to their lab and check the results on internet within 3-5 days by accessing a protected page that only you know of as an anonymous browser. They also guarantee you by law to keep the anonymity of any data and nobody asks if you obtained samples with other person’s approval or whose DNA samples you brought. Just keep your mouth shut in court and don’t admit that you did it once you dispute or demand paternity establishment of a child that you tested in secrecy before. I personally know a number of men who did.

            Numerous European countries deliberately ban payments to known paternity testing laboratories that allow anonymous testing to stop their citizens from accessing them. Similar ban was attempted in USA but it wasn’t approved. Hundreds of thousands of children are tested on U.S. courts each year, it is an expensive procedure and it is covered by taxpayers’ money only on mother’s demand to establish paternity, since they attempt to get her off the hook for public assistance, while fathers who either dispute or want to establish paternity by court procedure will have to cover full costs of testing and court expenses also add up to that. As an alternative, many of those court proceedings and paternity disputes or claims will rather be preceeded by anonymous paternity tests with results checked online, that procedure is safe, relatively fast and very reliable and it only costs a bit over 100$.

            Please inform yourself, google about paternity fraud and online paternity testing and also research how the laws work before you reply such nonsense, thank you.

      • Well for starters, it’s actually dropping. Sure, it’s higher than when women were considered property, but it actually has been dropping in more recent years.

        • I have read many studies that it is dropping because people getting married is decreasing. Younger people have seen the results and are becoming gun shy so to speak. I myself have never been married, and never plan to. Watching what my aunts and uncles, friends and cousins have gone through I am making an adult choice not to. I would hope more people would do the same.

          • those are guesses as to why getting married is decreasing. from what my adult children have told me about their generation is they don’t feel the need to “jump” into a marriage nor the need to “jump” into bed with someone. those that get married seem to understand better than my generation did that marriage is a commitment and must be worked at every day. They don’t seem to have the Cinderella syndrome. I hope that is true.

        • No, it’s the legal imbalance where woman, if she isn’t at serious error (heavy drug abuse and complete abandonment of children) will always have all the cards stacked to ruin her husband’s life, whoever is at fault.
          Add this with the culture of divorce out of boredom and you get the point. There is no common sense to claim that HALF of children of married couples will have their fathers kicked out of the house, this implies that disproportionate number of fathers are not suitable to be fathers at all OR it proves feminist agenda of pushing men from everyday’s life – but too bad for feminist utopia that women still aren’t as capable economically and with starting large businesses, so they end up extorting the state to fulfill their agendas, while fathers are used for sperm donors and walking wallets – and then they ask why men are rejecting commitment.

          • I agree wholly with what you just said. I am a victim of this. My ex cheated, I left the house, the judge said I abandoned my family, I was then forced to pay 50% of my take home pay into child support for 2 children that I love dearly. When my ex tried to force every other week visitation, my attorney pleaded with the judge that I didn’t ask for this, so why punish the children and father for indescretions made by the wife.

            The judge agreed with me, I now have every weekend visitation BUT it cost me all my stake in the house and absolving ALL credit card debt which amassed to 54,000 and I had no idea of over 1/2 of it existed.

            Ultimately I am far better off now than I would have been had I chose to stay, BUT I see reluctance in my son wanting to pursue relationships and he speaks at times about not wanting to get married for fear of what he saw. That saddens me

      • Please re-read the first sentence, where it says that divorce rates are DROPPING, not rising. That fact will make it very hard to find out why divorce rates are increasing. Because they aren’t.

      • The divorce rate is not rising, it has been falling since the 1980s. People are actually getting married later than ever, and that later age is what is causing the decrease in divorce rates. Freakonomics has a good podcast on this subject entitled “Why Marry?”

    • It’s more less women marrying for the money they go for a man for money keep him for awhile then yell “half” in there face people look at money now a days they don’t look at personality, shit even looks you can be dog ugly and if you have some kind of money and she can look finer than frog hair and shack up with hue heffiner (not sure if his nam is spelled right) just for the simple fact of money. Women get them dollars signs in their eyes and as I said more are young beautiful and BREAK!!! Well till there married and divorced 10 times

  2. Summary:

    48% of marriages end in divorce by year 20 of marriage.

    ~50% of divorced people remarry within 5 years of divorce (men at a higher percentage than women).

    67% of second marriages end in divorce.

    73% of third marriages end in divorce.

    Boomer couples are divorcing at a record high rate.

    Combining the probabilities over 8-20 years of marriage and remarriage, the FAILURE RATE FOR ALL US MARRIAGES IS OVER 70%.

    In other words, of all marriages, including second, third, and more, more than 70% of all marriages end in divorce in the US.

    For every couple you know getting married or remarried after divorce, the probability that they will remain married to the same person from year 8 to 20 of marriage is 27-52%.

    Please share these data with your family, friends, and colleagues. I suspect they will be shocked.

    Given the dismal success rate for marriage, why would the majority of Americans bother?

    Marriage in the US is a failed institution by definition.

    Then again, one might look at the statistics and conclude that in US there is a 70% rate of “freedom from marriage”. ;-)

  3. Hi, I loved your article but am wondering where you got all the data from. Was it all in the Census report or were there additioanl sources for the data?

    • Bonnie,
      We referenced the US Census Bureau and the Barna Research Group in the post. These would be good sources if you are interested in learning more.

        • They do collect data on marital status, which was one of our sources in this post. We also referred to other sources. According to the U.S. Census Bureau: “The U.S. Census Bureau provides the current marital status of persons, by age, sex, and race and the estimated median age at first marriage for men and women at the U.S. level. Reports are also published from special studies which collect data on the marital history of the population.”

    • I wanted to know the percentage of people who deny and get depressed about getting a divorce. That’s the whole reason I came on here. However, I don’t see it. I appreciate the info. you gave, but can you try to find that info. too? Thanks :)

  4. What if you are in a marriage that has a lot of verbal abuse. You talk about it over and over like a broken record but I never changes. Would you want to stay in that marriage?

    • Strange then that it’s the religious whose marriages fail most often and atheist/agnostics that have the fewest divorces… ;) :P

      • Those percentages reported among religions are misleading and incomplete. They report said that Baptists had the HIGHEST of religious groups being reported. Sure the atheist group was lower than that, but the atheist number is still much higher than the OTHER religious groups’ numbers. The divorce rate among Mormons (LDS) for example is 8% (this religion is highly committed to families). In general, families who are actively INVOLVED in their chosen religion (whatever that is) have a much LOWER divorce rate.

        • You seriously have no idea how statistics work. When the study says that 29% of all Baptists are divorced, that means, um, that 29% of baptists divorce. It doesn’t mean that out of all of the people, Baptists have the highest number of people divorcing. They are comparing them to other Baptists, so saying that its because there are more baptists & fewer atheists is ridiculous & only shows that you don’t understand statistics. Religious Republicans in the south, (bible belt) have a higher divorce rate than atheist democrats in the northeast.

    • you did see atheist have the lowest % right?
      My husband and I have been together 20 (lived together after just 3 months) years married for 16 years
      we have faith in ourselves individually and as a couple, oh and he worships me. No invisible sky friends necessary. I consider myself a secular humanist and he just doesnt believe in any gods or labels. R’amen
      Try again…actually no stop trying

      “The Barna Research Group measured divorce statistics by religion. They found that 29 percent of Baptists are divorced (the highest for a US religious group), while only 21 percent of atheists/agnostics were divorced (the lowest).”

      • Atheist and agnostics are less likely to marry in general as opposed to Christians, and Baptist, who would believe co-habitation is improper. Of Atheists and Agnostics who do actually marry, their divorce rates are the same.

        From the Barna Group:
        Thirty percent of atheists and agnostics had been married and subsequently divorced. However, the three-point difference from the national average was within the range of sampling error, suggesting that their likelihood of experiencing a dissolved marriage is the same as that of the population at-large. A representative from Barna also pointed out the atheists and agnostics have lower rates of marriage and a higher likelihood of cohabitation, a combination of behaviors that distort comparisons with other segments.

        Divorce Among Adults Who Have Been Married

        (Base: 3792 adults)

        Population Segment Have Been Divorced No. of Interviews

        All adults 33% 3792

        Evangelical Christians 26% 339
        Non-evangelical born again Chrisitans 33% 1373
        Notional Christians 33% 1488
        Associated with non Christian faith 38% 197
        Atheist or agnostic 30% 269
        All born again Christians 32% 1712
        All non born again Christians 33% 2080

        Protestant 34% 1997
        Catholic 28% 875

        Upscale 22% 450
        Downscale 39% 367

        White 32% 2641
        African-American 36% 464
        Hispanic 31% 458
        Asian 20% 128

        Conservative 28% 1343
        Moderate 33% 1720
        Liberal 37% 474
        (Source: The Barna Group, Ventura, CA)

      • Ramen to you, too! Your invisible sky friend is my favorite, and the tastiest! I haven’t seen reference to the fsm in some time :)

    • Because that helped all those Baptists who represent the most divorced religious group, as opposed to all the atheists who are the lowest divorced group.
      Not.

  5. I’m wondering what the statistics are for divorces where there is a stay at home mom compared to both working parents.

    • Hang in there Lauren. I was one of those kids, too, and I cried at night, too. But God is faithful and will see you through this. I am now a parent with great family of my own and a great marriage. Be still, find peace, and trust that He will see you through it, for he will. That’s one of the most important aspects of Easter: good coming out of an impossibly bad situation and all things becoming new.

    • It will get better, Lauren. I grew up without a father as well. Not because of anything my mother did, or anything I did. He was just a man who should never have been a father because he really didn’t know how to do it.
      Many times as a child it made me sad. But as an adult I am grateful, because if he had stayed he would have hurt me and made me less than I am. Instead, my family of just my mother and sisters struggled with money but were always supported by love.
      Now I am an adult. I have been with my husband for nearly 16 years and we have been married for nearly 11 of those. He is my best friend and we have no doubt we will remain married for the rest of our lives. We have three beautiful children.
      My father is still not in my life because he would still only hurt me – and now possibly hurt my children. But my life is good and it’s been a long, long time since I cried over him.
      You take care of yourself.

  6. I can’t wait to get divorced and NEVER get married again. Women aren’t worth it. There is absolutely no point in getting married. Keep you freedom men. Women are needy, moody and unrealistic. End of discussion. say what you will now, but I promise you I will never be back to this page to read it. I mean, who cares what you think anyway? Not me! Lol…

    • My situation was just the opposite. My X wanted the divorce and I didn’t. First time I’d ever prayed for death. Nevertheless, I’ll never get married again either. Every ounce of joy and happiness was eclipsed a billion times over in the divorce.

      Someone else posted, “Divorce changes a person. A divorced guy typically loses the ‘idealism’ of what a marriage is. That’s a good thing because he adopts a more realistic attitude…” I can’t believe how much I’ve changed over the past few years post divorce. Every ounce of what might have made me compatible in a long term relationship has been shredded. I distrust everything and everyone. To be honest, I like me better this way. I old me was soooooo naïve!

      Here’s a good quote I read somewhere: “Disillusionment is the state of being freed of illusions, enchantments and false beliefs.”

  7. From my personal experience religion dictating people’s decisions to marry super young plays a big roll in many divorces. . Not all but many.

    I have gone to many churches, various denominations, in different parts of the World and different U.S. states.

    Naive church young people get married right after high school. Pressure from parents and religion they jump right in to it. For many it is a ticket to move out of parents house/rules and have sex/romance/relationship without the guilt of sin. These people don’t know they have an option to get a boyfriend/girlfriend or be single and take a few years to develop independence, have hobbies, build a business/career till at minimum their mid 20s. Or not get married at all is also an option. These options don’t exist in their mindset.

    Even worse when religion pushes for less birth control. Then not only are they married too young but also having kids… 18 years old getting married in developed countries is just sad to me. Sorry. That age, they don’t know what they’re getting in to.

    When you have to live up to serious religious beliefs, you are no longer thinking for yourself. Nobody is putting a gun to your head but brainwashed is pretty close to that.

    Marriage for the super young is a fun emotional high at first, but once they hit mid 20s to 30s, many of them cannot escape the information age and start coming out of their religious cocoon and seeing the World for what it is. Reality sets in, unfortunately for many, eventual divorce. And if not divorce, an extremely high percentage of them are depressed and have stressful marriages.

    Religion or not, I highly recommend to avoid marriage, and especially having kids till at least your mid 20s.

    It is also true, people live longer now than centuries ago. So getting married means you’re living together decades longer than before.

    • If religious emphasis on “lack of” birth control is analyzed as a factor, it actually decreases divorce rate. The Catholic emphasis on lack of birth control is conditional. That is, one cannot isolate that from other responsibilities Catholics also teach. That might be why Catholics have a lower divorce rate than atheists, even while atheists have a much lower marriage rate.

      There are many false assumptions asserted on this forum. Some points:
      First, marriage proponents assert marriage is a construct for the benefit of children. Having married people who can’t reproduce supports the institution, therefore supports children(and society of course) indirectly.
      Historically, marriage is an institution that has thrived across cultures, societies and political ideals. Marriage thrived even in communism, a political structure that asserted marriage is a capitalist construct created by corporations.
      Divorce is a recent phenomenon, that coincides with the implementation of welfare, which gives a financial incentive for parents to split.
      Per esteemed exhaustive studies – the Moynihan Report(1965) and the Coleman Report(1967), and other studies, children without biological parents involved in their upbringing suffer huge disadvantages, as do the societies suffering from the ill effects of children growing up without both biological parents involved in upbringing. In 1965, Moynihan predicted the coming crime wave in the 1970s due to the separation of parents from their children. His major comment about his report in 1998 when he was interviewed about it :”We didn’t know it could get this bad.”

      The debate should not be turned into a Christian/atheist thing. Again if marriage is seen as a benefit for the benefit of children(as most marriage proponents support), then the goal should be creating marriage type situations, where children are raised by both biological parents. Lower crime, solid societies with thriving children, Christian and Atheist benefit. It just so happens that marriage is a very efficient way for both parents to be involved with their children.

      The note in the blog insinuating gay marriages are less likely to divorce than straight can be misleading. And if you actually compare apples to apples divorce statistics, gay marriages might actually be much more likely to divorce. But again, there simply isn’t a history on gay marriage to collect enough meaningful data yet.

      Please see the comment by the girl(Lauren) on this forum who says”I’m one of the 43% growing up without a father. It’s hard. I cry at night sometimes. :(”
      With boys the effects can be more insidious, resulting in not only educational poor performance, but much higher violent crime rates.

  8. My x said in our out of court settlement, in front of her lawyer and my lawyer. ‘It is better for a child to be in daycare than to be with the child’s parent.’ REALLY!! Both lawyers said no. I got every week, Mon. 7am till Thurs. 12pm. I said,’if you rather have our daughter be at daycare than having her with you. Just sign your rights over to me. I will take all the timeyou don’t. Want to be with her.’
    Also, think of how high the unemployment rate would be without divorce
    She got. ‘ENTITLED’ to $32,000.00 from my retirement. I wasn’t allowed a penny of hers. No one forced her to take it. A moral xwife I don’t have due to her adultery, greed….

  9. Adaptation and developing a self concept while maintaining a dynamic relationship accounts for higher rates during those stages. Since the arrival of children often challenges an adult’s notions of their identity, I’d be interested in data describing the relative ages of the children during the divorce.

    The better you know yourself, ,the more likely you are to recognize who best compliments you in life as a companion.

    Consider American culture and society’s methods for nurturing people to independence. Consider whether individuals allow themselves time and space to reacquaint after their first marriage ends. Are economic demands influencing the rates of marriage as a springboard to independence in ways similar to earlier eras?

    Have people sufficiently defined their personal happiness independent of other factors? Are people driven by fear or self discovery or something else?

  10. I am recently divorced and I had asked my GF if she would remarry again. to my surprise she said she would for a third time. After reading all this I don’t think I could go through another divorce. First one was expensive enough. Plus I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that I love my gf thru thick and thin and sickness and in health. I love her to death and would give my life for her and for both of us that is good enough.

    On another note I think getting divorce should be a 30 minute process, in and out. Getting married should be what takes so long and time consuming. people can get married in a heartbeat and not think twice about it until it falls apart then its time for the divorce which takes forever, specially if you have kids. So my opinion GETTING married should be the hardest most complicated thing to do.

  11. These are VERY sad statistics. I waited 8 years between marriages, unfortunately my husband only waited a year. He decided last month to separate after 5.5 years married. We didn’t even have a “bad marriage” but adjusting to his new work and travel schedule was taking some time. He just decided he “doesn’t want the responsibility of a family”, needs a “big boy time out”.

    I hope that the men and women who read this and may have thought about divorce will realize that it’s really NOT necessary. Even in the midst of affairs, financial crisis, etc., work together and rekindle the love.

    • keri I am sorry about your split..i don’t get it either! there is nothing that cant be worked through when there is love but I am back to the happiness thing..thats all people care about is being happy all the time! and not willing to make the sacrifices to make things better…those people will never be happy because they are never happy with themselves!! and by the time they figure it out they will be very old and still unhappy and relize they gave something up that was good and real but it will be too late ..life was a selfish waste of time! it all just doesn’t make sense it all has to do with the breakdown of family values….sitcoms about single people with kids, divorced people and so on a lot has to do with the desensitizing of America to the damage of divorce whether it is to kids or just a man and a wife it doesn’t matter it is still a path of destruction that affects people and society in a negative way! and the cycle will never be broken I find it very sad and still admire the old folks still holding hands after so many years all I can say is im sorry keri and also sorry to all the other people nursing a broken heart left behind to figure out what the hell just happened….I am so sorry!!

  12. unfortunately these days people try marriage on like a pair of shoes ..if they don’t fit move on to another pair! whether they have kids or not leaving a path of destruction behind them like a tornado…who cares about the wreckage they have caused on other lives maybe there own children… !all people these days care about is personal happiness they build a life with a partner maybe a house some cars a kid ..careers .it really doesn’t matter what it is but as soon as things get tough lets move on….everything is ok these days….it is so much easier to move on then to work things out..and it is acceptable to all…what is soo wrong with this world today I look at older folks like my parents married 50 years or a 70 year old couple walking down the street still holding hands after all of these years…what do they have that people these days don’t?? self sacrifice, commitment and old fashioned values! I really admire and look up to them I just don’t know what has happened to this world everything is ok these days…if you meet someone who is divorced and ask if they had kids they might say yes I have two….one is 1 and the other is four…you mean you didn’t know you wanted a divorce two years or even one year ago??? people think kids or material shit will make things better and make them happy..but if things are rough before a kid multiply that times 5…lets put some more stress on im sure that will make it all better!! ….I don’t get it! and no I don’t have kids but my wife and I had a week separation about 5 years ago because she wasn’t happy..well I thought we worked through it all but 5 years later she told me she was unhappy again!! then why over the last five years did we get two dogs, two motorcycles a motorhome, two boats?? when I asked her she said well I thought that would make me happy…that’s what people do when they have kids!!…if you are not happy its because of youself!! if you don’t start out happy with yourself no one else or material things will be able to make you happy.ever..if you don’t start out with a happy innerself it all is a waste of time ..if you are happy someone can make you happier but if that other person has nothing to start with it will never work..all I am saying there is no happy place or happy person to make you happy…it all starts within yourself..and if you cant appreciate yourself and the good things that are around you…your done!! people spend so much time looking for that happy place or person then they tend to overlook the things that are around them….and by the time they realize it it is too late!!
    ther are acceptions to divorce like infidelity abuse and some other things but unfortunately the majority of times that is not the case!!

    • The opposite is true as well about happiness. I used to be happy until my husband cheated. I am trying to work on it but he just continues to betray my trust. I don’t want to be married anymore. He has made me miserable but we have a child who is 3 and I do not want him growing up fatherless. My husband has made me miserable.

  13. Heres me drama… So ive been marry for about 1month..been with him for 3 yrs and i already feel like i made a mistake.
    30 MIN. Before our ceremony i felt that it wasnt gonna work..i guess i shouldve packed my stuff and dump him but i couldnt do it… Now i feel alone and miserable.. People never change they just gets better at being mean… :’(

  14. What are the divorce rate for spouse to live with his parents compared to those that live together after marriage

  15. Gbunny it sounds like you started your marriage with a positive attitude ! Commiting to failure before you even said i do that is whats wrong these days…marriage is not a pair of shoes you tried on at macys,..walked around the store then you decided you didnt want them!
    Anything in in life is what you make it…the more effort the better the results!!

  16. Can someone help me get stats on breakdown of child custody by gender, and some other details (like how many of those were contested)?
    Thanks,
    IC

  17. Divorce and custody laws are the reason divorce is so high. Wwhat incentive is there for a women to stay married when she can divorce her husband, and get the house, kids, half of his money, alimony for the rest of her life, child support, welfare, and never have to work again.

  18. The rise is due to feminism. What isn’t told here is that 70% of divorces are initiated by the woman. Feminism has given the average woman crazy expectation levels. The research on this is very sound. Look it up.

    There are lots of unhappy women out there. Heck, women are constantly being told that they are unhappy and there is something better out there. They are told they can have it all, which of course they can’t. Anyone who is the least bit successful in life knows that you can not have it all. To get something you have to give up something.

    Guys learned this long ago. For example: You want to provide for your family well then the stress will kill you. You gain family stability at the cost of years off your life. Why do you think a guys life expectancy was 10 years less than a woman’s. Interestingly enough that gap has shrunk since the feminist movement began.

    In a nutshell, 70% of divorces are initiated by women and I believe it is due to the grass is greener mindset that feminism has preached for the past 4 decades.

  19. Divorce rates have been dropping due to the economy dropping. As the old saying goes, “it’s cheaper to keep her.”

  20. did any of you actually read this thing?
    #1 it says divorce rates are FALLING not rising.
    #2 it also says DUMB PEOPLE are more likely to get divorced. that is, the uneducated, the very religious and those in states full of dumb dumbs are more likely to divorce. its all in the text!
    there need be no other explanations. even though you all gave it your best stupid shot.
    i recommend that you all go read a book, become less dumb (may be impossible but i have hope for ya!) and choose better partners in the future.

      • yes I read the article… And it said if you graduated college you are 13 percent less likely to get divorced… Try upping your reading comprehension

  21. It has been over three years since my x and I separated and the divorce is still in the works. It has been like crawling out of a pit of tar, yet I am stronger then I have ever been and I am determined to provide not just the basics for my daughter, yet a wonderful stable upbringing. I want her to know that life can be happy and joyful even when you are single. I want her to know that you complete yourself…yet if a partner enters your life that is loving, kind and supportive then by all means that is wonderful! I guess I am still forever a secret hopeless romantic that believes in love and family. We can define that as a loving single parent family, or family of 15 children. As long as there is love and nurturing and the family offers a stable positive environment for their children that is all that matters. I am used to being alone, quite the introverted gal at times, yet I have noticed especially in Seattle that we have become so stand offish, hide behind our I-phones, scared to truly connect, This is not normal nor healthy. The “Seattle Freeze” and all the awkward social miscommunications is making it even harder for people to meet and date in any true manner. We need to make a point to communicate and connect and not be all bitter. I could be bitter forever, yet I refuse! That’s my rant for the evening. :)

  22. Great article!

    I think the 2 primary reasons why couples end in divorce are:
    1. Lack of good communication.
    2. Money.

  23. Here’s the one and only key to a happy, successful, divorce-free marriage: Be really really really nice to each other!
    ‘Nuff said?

  24. I think that some of the factors are with communication and technology. There wasn’t as much detection through cell phones, emails and facebook to know where your spouse is. People are caught cheating and won’t stand for it. Where as ‘back in the day’ it wasn’t really known. There are so many factors that play into why people don’t stay married for so many years. In today’s world, there are different roles for a woman and man, both work and take care of the family in more of an equal way (note: I did not say balanced) therefore, people are less likely to put up with a bunch of neglect/abuse/cheating, etc.

  25. If you believe you can make a commitment to someone then you should be able to stick with that decision and make it work because you shouldn’t marry someone you don’t love.

  26. Imho the church as a whole has abandoned true faith as shown by their divorce rate. If not, then the divorce rate would be a fraction of the rate of excommunication. There is no more solumn promise than marriage and violation carries a consiquence spiritually equal to the promise.
    If I ever get married again, more than likely no ‘pastor’ who fails to condemn divorce will have any part. Pastors who would condemn could be witnesses because overall, their position is defiled.

    Yes people have been abused and mistreated and is ok to defend one’s self
    Bu. But divorce is almost never possible wiyhout effectibely renouncing your faith.

  27. What are the statistics for marrying a female virgin and the divorce rate? Virgin marriages seem to last longer than those who have been active in the hook-up culture. No one commenting here mentions virginity.

  28. I’m really shocked that living together before marriage increases divorce likelihood. It definitely prepared me for married life and I got used to my future husband and all his behaviours before committing to marriage. We lived together for 9 years before getting married and it’s been just as good after marriage as it was before.

    I wonder if co-habitating couples marry because they feel it will make them ‘closer’ and strengthen their relationship when it’s struggling. I think you have to go into marriage wanting things to stay the same and understand nothing will change except, maybe your name (if you want to change it ladies!).

    • I’m also shocked at that stat… I do wonder if there’s a breakdown. For example, couples who live together for X period are Y likely to divorce. I’d be curious if the longer the couple lives together, then the less likely you are to divorce in comparison to other time-frames that you live together (or if the opposite was true).

      Either way, I think that stat needs more details..

  29. Looks like I’m another statistic. Married 7 years going on 8, and we’re heading for divorce. Never again.

  30. Pingback: Going X When You Meant to Go Y - Deb Stone

  31. I never imagined being divorced, but even in my late 20s was very naive. Nobody mentions psychological disorders or porn addictions. There are more pathologically crazy people out there than ever before, and it definitely affects marriage. I was married to a psychopath and have met men with exes who were narcissists and with borderline personality disorders. Sometimes there are real problems at play and not just people who didn’t want to put in the work.

  32. I’m seeing a lot of sexism in the comments coming from men, and a lot of animosity toward women. At the same time, I’m seeing a lot of women on here being empathetic and kind, supporting both the men and women who have gone through rough patches in their relationships and with missing parents. Just some food for thought. Religious or not (I’m definitely not), we have certain responsibilities toward other people, like showing empathy and not making horrible generalizations about women or men, and that is truly what makes the world go ’round at the end of the day.

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